I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
