Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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