Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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