D3 body, D1 cock
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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