she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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