it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
