bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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