Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
