This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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