I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she pinky promised me she was 18
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
