Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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