Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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