Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
