I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
