Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
