Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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