We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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