:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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