She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
