Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
should my penis look like a turkey
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
