his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
