okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
