I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
