you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
