we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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