Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
