I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
