So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
