oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
