We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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