using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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