I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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