Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
