Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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