I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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