RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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