I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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