guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
