This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
