Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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