Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
