does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
