Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
