there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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