Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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