was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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