dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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