Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
