Moan for me like Helen Keller
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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