We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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