CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
