Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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