nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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